“If you could spend just five minutes in my skin, you’d understand.”

That’s what one of the characters in a novel I began writing said, in response to someone dismissing his pain with:

“Why are you upset? You’ve got a good job, plans for the future, and very few things to complain about.”

I remember writing that line and pausing. It stuck with me. Not just as fiction, but as a truth I hear echoed repeatedly in the therapy room.

As a counsellor supporting LGBTQIA+ adults, men’s mental health, trauma, ADHD, and neurodivergent clients, I often hear stories like this. From the outside, everything might look “fine”: a stable job, a relationship, future plans. But inside, there’s often a different reality: anxiety, shame, loneliness, or a deep sense of not being seen.

Maybe this sounds familiar to you, too. In the therapy room, it’s common to hear:

“I don’t know why I feel this way. I should be happy.”

“Other people have it worse. I shouldn't complain.”

“Everyone thinks I’m strong, but I feel like I’m falling apart.”

These are stories that don’t always get told out loud. And when they do, they’re often met with confusion, judgment, or silence.

But here’s what I’ve learned: even when life looks “good” on the outside, the inner experience can still carry deep emotional pain.

That’s why empathy matters so much. Empathy, for me, is the reminder that we never really know someone’s inner world unless we pause, stay curious, and truly listen. True empathy is about making space for different versions of the same story and respecting those experiences, even when they don’t match our own. Because what we see on the outside never tells the whole story.

So I’d like to ask you:

Who comes to mind as you read this?
Whose skin would you like to better understand, or invite others to understand more deeply?

Because mental health isn’t always visible.
Because LGBTQIA+ experiences, trauma, ADHD, and neurodivergence often come with hidden emotional layers that deserve to be heard.

Pedro Garcia

Online and London-based counselling in English and Spanish. Specialising in LGBTQIA+, men’s mental health, ADHD and trauma support.